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getting started with Living Room Conversations

Living Room Conversations (LRC) Guides are easy-to-use, self-contained and facilitator-free. All you really need are copies of the conversation guide for each person and a place for people to gather. Even so, when we’re beginning a new journey, it’s sometimes helpful to have a map created by those who have made the trip. The steps below are suggestions that may be helpful. We’d love to hear what works best for you.


1.  There are two models for getting started in a community: a small group of 4-7 people or a conference-style approach that  gathers a larger number of people for multiple simultaneous conversations at tables or in sitting room areas.

  • The small group model begins with two people who respectfully disagree about an issue. Each invites one or two people who agree with them on the issue to have a conversation on the topic. They gather in a comfortable, private setting, read the LRC ground rules that come with each topic and have a conversation, fill in the evaluation forms, take a group picture and send all that to the address on the evaluation form. A real plus would be your story of your conversation experience.
  • The conference-style approach offers an opportunity to introduce a larger number of people to the LRC practice. It requires a bit more preparation than the small group model but can give a jumpstart to a shift in the way people in a congregation relate to each other. This approach can be an ongoing way to support conversations in the community. It can also encourage people to invite folks into their homes for a small group.

2.  The conference-style model works best when a team begins it. Gather 4-6 people, preferably people who represent both  right- and left-leaning perspectives on the topics you’d like to explore. 

3.  Have a Living Room Conversation with the team, if they haven’t had an opportunity to participate in a LRC. Having the  experience will help you speak with confidence and credibility as you begin to invite people. If you don’t have a specific topic  you’d like to explore, Righteousness or Relationship is a good place to start.

4.  Identify your purpose for exploring LRC. Do you want to increase community ability to communicate in general or is there a  specific issue that needs conversation?

5.  Explore the topics available on the website. Living Room Conversations has over 50 topic-specific conversation materials  developed, ready-made for great conversations. If there’s something you’d like to work on that’s not there, let us know, and we’ll help you with the design of a conversation.

6.  Select a date. Give yourself about six weeks lead-time to allow for communication and publicity.

7.  Select a time. Two hours will give you plenty of time to do a brief introduction and review of the ground rules, have a  conversation with space that allows people to go as deep as they would like, and have a group checkout at the end of the  conversations. Better to end a bit early than to feel pressure to rush through the conversation.

8.  Check in with community leadership to avoid scheduling conflicts. 

9.  Reserve space, tables/chairs and any sound equipment you might need.

10.  Prepare written and verbal publicity about the LRC event. Templates are available in this space; feel free to adapt to your  particular community’s style. If announcements are acceptable practice in your community, begin those four weeks before the  event.

11.  Encourage sign-up sheets and online reservations if that’s your community practice, but also welcome walk-ins unless space is an issue.

12.  Talk with your minister about the possibility of including LRC in a sermon. Links to sample sermons are available in this space.

13.  Decide on a topic and make copies of the guide for more participants than you expect. If you decide to have a choice of  topics for participants, make enough copies of each for all participants. Links to print-ready PDFs are available in the topic  descriptions on the website. Please print the evaluations that are included in the PDF.

14.  Put the keywords of the ground rules, e.g., Be curious and open to learning, on chart pad and easel or projected on a  screen so that they can serve as reminders during the conversation.

15.  Set up tables with no more than six chairs.

16.  Plan for refreshments—at least a beverage. Conversation is always better when we break bread. Consider having some  non-noisy snacks or a simple meal during the conversation.

17.  Have name badges, markers, sign-in sheets for name and contact information and pens available at a table near the  entrance. Assign a team member to greet people and steer them to the table as well as to refreshments.

18.  Begin on time, and assign a team member to watch for and greet latecomers.

19.  Two team members—preferably of different views—introduce the event: remind people that we’re there to build  understanding, not to debate who’s right and who’s wrong. Introduce the ground rules. If it’s possible, ask individual participants  to read the rules—one rule per person. Remind everyone that there is no facilitator, that every group is responsible to manage  their own behavior.

20.  Move people into conversation groups. If you have topic choices, have people indicate which they would prefer and  separate the groups. If the topic is an issue for which there are strong positional poles, ask people to divide into sides, then  count off to distribute evenly among the groups. If positions aren’t as visible, have them count off to separate friends and  partners so they can have conversation with people who they may know less well.

21.  Team members should participate in a group. Join groups that need an extra person or that you anticipate may need more  assistance in self-management than others.

22.  Give a ten-minute warning 30 minutes before the advertised stop time. Stop the conversations at 20 minutes till, and ask  participants to complete the evaluation.

23.  After evaluations are completed, two team members lead a feedback discussion. How was this for you? Would you like to  do this again? What suggestions do you have?

24.  Thank folks for participating and invite them to find someone with whom they respectfully disagree to co-host a LRC in their homes.

25.  Take a group picture, collect all the evaluations as people leave, and take a deep breath.

26.  Review the evaluations, make note of suggestions for improvement, and send copies of the evaluations to the address on  the evaluation form. Email the group picture if you have group permission. And please—tell us the story of your conversation  experience.

27.  Give thanks…and start planning the next event. Perhaps invite another congregation to join you. Consider making this a  regular recurring event so that people know that it is ongoing and can expand the circle of participants.